I can do this. I’ve been here. I know what I’m doing.
The Edge of Glory
I guess if that were the case, I wouldn’t be such a chicken, now, would I? I’ve been teetering on the edge of glory for awhile now and just when I think I’m ready to head into the wild blue yonder, something pulls me back and clips my wings. It disguises itself as procrastination or overcommitment, but what it really is is fear: fear of uncertainty and what it or I could be.
(picture from GeekTyrant)
She’s Got A (e) Ticket to Ride
The first time I flew on a plane I was 10 years old. My family flew to Disneyland for a rare family vacation. For some odd reason, I don’t remember the flight so much. What I do remember was actually being in Disneyland and going nuts. Running from this ride to that ride; cotton candy to ice cream; Mickey to Minnie—It was sooo surreal to actually be somewhere I had only dreamt about or seen on TV. Throughout our short time there, the one thing that really stood out (and up) was the Matterhorn: an infamous bobsled ride that would take you through the deep, dark caves where the notorious abominable snowman lived.
On day two of our weekend trip, everyone decided they wanted to go on the Matterhorn. Well, that would be everyone but me. Looking up at that big mountain, hearing the screams of the passengers, and seeing them careen down to the base for what was sure to be their untimely death scared the beejeezus out of me. I remember everyone going up to get on the ride and there I sat…alone…wishing I had the nerve. 30 seconds later, off the ride they came, with super-wide grins from ear-to-ear and a sense of pride that they beat the mountain. Hmph. “Who needs that stupid ride, anyway?” said my 10-year-old self. “I do,” replies my 46-year-old self.
Get Your Kicks
Even though I was only ten-years-old, I knew I missed out on something special that day and it was all because I let my fear get the better of me. Since that day, I not only ride, I make it a point to go on every rollercoaster I come across. I either sit in the front (for the kick-ass view) or the back (nice caboose kicks simulate zero gravity) and hold my arms straight up in the air as high as they’ll possibly go. It’s kinda like flying. Okay, so it’s nothing like flying, but it sure beats Mr. Toad’s Not-So-Wild ride and the view is way better from up there.
Shotgun!
So what’s the matterhorn, flying, and fear got to do with all of this? Well, today, I’m jumping on the Giant Dipper: front car. There are a number of things in the works, but here are three that have me looking fear straight in the eyes:
- I shipped an official wholesale order of Owning Kristina cards and prints to a shop in the East Bay. I’m now in two locations, count ‘em—albeit on one hand—two! Next step is to take my shop and blog to the next level. I’ve been saying it for months but, mark my words (and my URL somewhere so you don’t forget), before the holidays you WILL see a new OK.
- I’ve been working on getting my metal print portfolio together to submit to a local exhibition this week. I mentioned working on some metal prints awhile ago on Google+ but now I’m ready to share! Come back to OK later this week for a sneak peek.
- I’ve submitted a 1400-word essay to one of my favorite magazines. I’ve been wanting to do this for at least a few years now. I recently saw the contest deadline drawing near, so I went for it! Hey, if it doesn’t get published (results in March 2012), at the very least, I’ll have some new content to share on OK. Fingers crossed though, K?
As I mentioned, there are a number of other things going on right now, hence all the flying/rollercoaster/glory metaphors, but they’re all good…really good. If you don’t see me online a lot, you’ll know why (i.e., I’m doing the work), but I’ll try to post here and there to keep my momentum going. As Lady Gaga would sing:
I’m on the edge of glory, and I’m hanging on a moment of truth
Out on the edge of glory, and I’m hanging on a moment with you
I’m on the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge,
I’m on the edge of glory, and I’m hanging on a moment with you
I’m on the edge with you.
